Of Baking Pans and Spatulas
by Samalamma
Summary: Takes place after the Sunset Ending. Sorry for such a horrendous summary.
1. Chapter 1

A car rolled up in front of a modest house. Looking around excitedly one of the passengers turned to the others and stated the once thought they had all been thinking, "It looks a lot smaller now". It had been nearly twenty years since they had left this place and moved on with their lives. Although the five occupants of this house, that looked far too small to have held all of them at one time, had gone on to live in France, Germany, the United States, and England, that little house in Dublin would never be far from their minds.

Here they stood, upon the ground where they had once played the most intense front yard football match known to man (an event that lasted from the early afternoon until it was so dark they couldn't see the ball anymore), flooded with memories. They turned to each other, dressed in black, wishing that this reunion had happened upon better circumstances. They reminisced with sad smiles and unshed tears about their "fifth musketeer" telling stories involving baking pans and a spatula, a hairdryer and a rare plant, and an odd lamp he had bought cheap.

"We should go, they are all waiting."

They all turned back towards the car. One man, who looked like he once was a spirited youth but now perpetually tired, turned back to the house. Though people used to always said he looked ten years younger than he actually was, he had aged a lot in the last couple of years.

"Goodbye Craig, we'll all miss you."

September 2008

"So what should I expect?"

"What'd you mean?"

"This house share of yours. What should I expect of your housemates?"

John Paul McQueen and Craig Dean were in the back of a cab on their way to the house Craig shared with three other students. A year ago, John Paul had left Craig at the airport saying that Craig wasn't ready to be with him. Now, here they were, a proper couple, moving in together.

"Damien you'll really like. Inez is really loud and half the time I have no idea what she is saying, but she is sweet. Lola and I don't really get along but you'll probably love her."

They pulled up in front of a house, John Paul thought that it was rather small, smaller than the loud McQueen house, but perfect. He wouldn't have it any other way.

They walked through the gate, Craig touching the head of the small ceramic dog resting on the fence, "Hello Angus".

John Paul looked at "Angus" and decided not to question it, it was just one of those things. John Paul couldn't help but notice how at ease Craig was in this place. This house seemed like more of a home than that flat above the Dog could have ever been. He lazily threw his bag on the couch, shouted something up the stairs, and opened the fridge to see what they had. He turned towards John Paul and grinned, "I swear anytime I am gone, this place goes to shit. The only things in here are a wedge of cheese, French dressing, and…a magazine."

A voice came from behind them, "Craig, you know that I think reading materials are best served cold."

Craig quickly walked around John Paul to give the bearded red head a hug. John Paul amusingly watched as they pulled apart and began talked like little school girls. However, he soon began to feel a little left out and began to regret not coming in the first place so that he would have been a part of the story, so that he could have experienced all of these things with Craig.

"…remember Maurice?"

"The one who kept telling us about the wonderful times he had fighting with Napoleon?"

" Yes! Well I saw him a week ago and he talked about his marriage to Joan of Arc and how he let her fight because he was a very forward thinking man who was a strong supporter of women's rights…"

Craig laughed along and John Paul was glad to see Craig so happy. Before he met Kieron, he would often sit in his room and think of Craig. Sometimes he wanted to just be near him (so much so that he would often go to call him, then think otherwise), sometimes thinking of him brought upon tears, sometimes he wished Craig was miserable, mostly though he wished Craig was happy. Seeing him laughing like this only confirmed what he hoped true.

"John Paul this is Damien. Damien this is John Paul. My boyfriend." It seemed so odd to hear Craig say this. John Paul was so used to Craig pulling away from his touch avoiding any public displays of affection. During their trip here he kept looking at Craig, at their linked hands, at Craig's head resting on his shoulder, and wondering when this was going to stop, when he was going to wake up or when Craig was going to wake up and realize that everyone thought they were gay.

Damien looked confused for a second, "John Paul…" He looked at Craig with raised eyebrows. Craig nodded, "Oh! Well its nice to meet you." and as he shook John Paul's hand, Damien looked back at Craig with what John Paul could only call an approving look. Or… well that's what he hoped it was.

"Where are the girls? I wanted them to meet John Paul." He moved next to John Paul, putting his arm around his waist.

"Inez left yesterday. Said something about terrible Irish food and that she needed something homecooked. Lola is with her new German boyfriend, they took a quick trip away while uni was on holiday." After a short silence, "Okay boys, well it looks like it's just you and me. C'mon dinner's on me."

"You don't have any money."

"Well then, dinner's on you." He said walking out the door.

Dinner was a blast and John Paul soon began to feel more at ease around Damien and in this new city. He couldn't help but love everything about it. A third year student at Trinity, Damien was a character, keeping them entertained with anecdotes about his childhood in Limerick or stories about things that happened while Craig was gone. Listening to Damien and taking in Dublin, John Paul kept thinking about how much he regretted not coming with Craig the first time around.

When Craig was in the bathroom, John Paul turned to Damien. "Will you tell me what happened last year? I want to know what happened to him after he came here, but he's keeping his mouth shut."

"Yeah." He glanced up, seeing Craig weaving his way through tables. "Later though. After he nods off alright?"

-----

Hey-

I thought I'd start a new story. I've been wanting to know what happens between McDean after their sunset ending and John Paul's two episode return didn't really give me any ideas, so I decided to just create my own continuation of their storyline.

For those of you reading "Alone" I'm going to update that soon- I anticipate only 2 or 3 more chapters for that story.

Thanks for Reading

Sam


	2. Chapter 2

Memories flooded into John Paul's mind as he walked into the house he had shared with Craig for ten years.

_Craig and John Paul lounging on their couch watching some show._

_John Paul and Craig going to a Dean family Christmas dinner. John Paul being hugged by Frankie for the first time as she whispered in his ear, "I'm glad he chose you."_

_Inez, Damien, and Lola over for dinner sans significant others. How it suddenly felt like old times when they would sit around that uneven table in the kitchen for hours just talking and laughing. _

_A McQueen family Christmas dinner where Craig got bombarded with hugs and was forced to listen to 3 McQueen daughters ask him about his opinions on their love lives, as if they wanted him to be the gay man their brother never could be, as John Paul, Jacqui, and Myra sat and talked about Dublin, school, and Tina-who they still terribly missed._

_Craig getting the call that the cancer had come back, after so long, and John Paul holding him in his arms as he cried all night long whispering encouraging words of how they were going to beat this even though he knew, deep down, they wouldn't._

He couldn't do this. He couldn't. There was no way he could stand in the house they had put together without him. He turned to walk out the door.

"John Paul!" Inez said grabbing hold to his arm, "what are you doing?!"

"Let him go Inez" Damien said quietly.

"I- I have to go!" He yelled. Inez, shocked at his sudden anger, let go and stepped aside and John Paul ran and ran to get to the one place where he knew he could feel safe.

September 19, 2008

"So. How did you know who I was?" John Paul asked turning to Damien. Craig had finally gotten up from the sofa and walked into the kitchen. While Craig whistled and prepared his meal, John Paul waited for an answer.

"You're rather impatient aren't you? Well…to be honest, you were quite the topic of conversation this past year. I don't know if I should be telling you this but…" Craig walked into the room with lager and a sandwich humming some sort of indecipherable tune. "…and that is why I think the British are shit at football." Craig still humming his little tune sat down of the sofa and rearranged himself so that he was partially on John Paul, partially on the couch, and partially on the small table in front. His plate resting on his torso, he grabbed his sandwich and took a bite.

"Comfy?" John Paul asked kissing Craig's forehead.

"Mmhmm." Craig glanced over towards Damien. "Stop gawkin' Reilly. And don't say the British are shit at football! They could beat Ireland any day."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah! Go back to throwing large... stones … and milking cows and leave the real games to us!"

"You really don't know anything about the Irish do you?"

This kind of talk continued for most of the evening until…

Craig yawned, shifted on John Paul, and closed his eyes. John Paul, realizing this was his opportunity, shook Craig awake. "I think it's your bedtime."

Craig stood up and began to stumble towards his bedroom. After a few steps he realized something was missing and turned around reaching to grab John Paul's hand. John Paul, who was sitting on the couch, had no intention on moving and couldn't help giggling at Craig's attempts to pull him off the couch. "You go without me. I'm not tired yet."

"But I want YOU to come with me!" He leaned forward. "I haven't snuggled with you in over a year!" He said thinking he was being quiet.

"I'll be there soon." This worked and Craig walked out of the room.

"Craig Dean a snuggler! Who'd a thought?" Damien said laughing. When he was met with a serious look from John Paul, he stopped laughing and began his story. "Craig came to this house a year ago and he spent the first two weeks crying over you. It took us two months to get him to go out for something other than classes or groceries."

"When did he tell you about me?"

"First night..."

"What! He couldn't kiss me in the airport but he could tell you his entire life story the night he met you?!" John Paul was suddenly mad.

"Let me finish John Paul."

_"…So this John Paul. You really love him right?" Damien sat on the armchair looking at Craig, his new roommate. He only knew him three hours and he already knew the story of Sarah and John Paul. _

_"Yeah… What do I do?" Craig's face was wet with tears. He had tried so hard not to cry in front of his new roommates but this was easier said than done. Everything he saw reminded him that he was a coward, that John Paul wasn't meeting this people because Craig had been such a coward. _

_"I'd say you better give him some space. Leave him alone a little bit. See if after a few weeks or so he's ready. If __**you're **__ready. You kind of jumped into this whole thing and I think it'd be best if you two were apart for a while."_

"That's really all I can tell you. He only talked about you once or twice more but it was easy to tell that he was unhappy. He rarely left the house in the first few months here. He didn't make a lot of friends. Lola is really impatient and couldn't really deal with him. Inez and I were really his only friends for most of the year."

All his anger was gone and once again he was left with a feeling of regret. Damien stood up to leave as well saying he was tired.

"Wait! One more thing. Craig mentioned a girl…"

"Girl? What girl?"

"A girl. Someone he was dating."

"The only girls he spent time with were mates. You must be talking about Patrick."

"Patrick?"

"Yeah. Craig's ex. They dated for a few months before he went back to Hollyoaks."

Suddenly all that anger that had left him was back. "He dated another guy! Publicly?!"

"Hey Hey Wait! You two were broken up! It's not like he's not allowed to date anyone else! You did!"

"But, I never expected him to date another bloke. He always said it was just me. I was the only one he fancied."

"He was lonely. Could you blame him?" He began to walk away, as he reached the doorframe he turned around, "Now that I think of it…he looked a lot like you."

Suddenly John Paul understood.

He stood up and walked into Craig's room and climbed into bed with him. Craig stirred, opened his eyes slightly, and smiled when he saw John Paul. "I knew you…" He yawned. "couldn't resist m-" His voice cut off as his eyes closed. John Paul shook him awake.

"Listen, Craig I've got something important to tell you."

Craig looked at him expectedly. "I love you."

"Why did you wake me up to tell me that?"

"Because…I had to tell you."

"Why?"

"Just because." Craig smiled, shut his eyes, and shifted towards John Paul. Putting his head on John Paul's chest, Craig sighed contently and fell asleep. Still fully clothed John Paul decided not to change. He decided that one uncomfortable night of sleeping was definitely worth it if it got to be with Craig.

--

Hey guys- sorry it took so long. I actually wrote this a couple weeks ago but never got around to uploading it.

If you're following Alone- expect an update within the week.

Chapter 3 coming soon! Keep reading

Sam


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